Understanding the Puckerman Badass
by sparklylulz
Summary: However there were things that she loved about him, and he'd kill her for telling them. Ten things that made sure she could never see herself loving anyone but him. -Puckelberry


**A/N: After the AWESOME feedback I got from my 'Understanding the Berry Crazy' piece, (seriously, it was awesome guys), here's a continuation from Rachel's point of view. Also, many of you asked about the new love interest for Puck, I actually read that on the Ausellio Files on ew .com Anyways, Rachel was much harder for me to write but after I channeled my inner crazy it became easier. For everyone who asked, your wish is my command.**

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_**'understanding the puckerman badass'**_

Noah Puckerman was actually a huge softie that turned to a puddle of mush if you used the 'puppy eyes' on him. That explains how his relationship with Finn remain immaculately intact after the entire Babygate mishap. Noah was one of the most caring boys Rachel had known in her short life, even if sometimes he forgot how sweet he could be, mainly because he was generally busy a complete asshole to everyone. However there were things that she loved about him, and he'd kill her for telling them. Ten things that made sure she could never see herself loving anyone but him.

**Noah has a strange obsession with the color orange.**

The first time she had walked into his room she thought that either the place was on fire or a Home Depot sign had thrown up on his walls. She hated the color of it, and every time she came over she cringed. His room combined with the ferocious dog he owned made Rachel never want to come over. _"Really, Noah, this is a revolting color, what on earth were you thinking-" "Hey, babe, you're making me soft, here." _With that she had stopped speaking and resumed her focus to a much more important matter.

**Noah was in a boy band in 5th grade. **

Noah and a group of his miscreant friends had decided that forming a boy band was sure to get them a chance to look up Stacy McHale's skirt during fourth period recess. They had named this ridiculous group the Zombie Spiders, because what was cooler than zombies and more scary than spiders? Rachel only knew all this because she was snooping through his room one day to find a picture shoved in the back of his closet of the boys all grouped together. His mother had explained the photo during fits of laughter while Noah sat brooding to the side muttering about zombies being badass.

**Noah might be a self proclaimed "badass," but he'll faint at the sight of blood.**

Honestly, after all the people he'd punched, you would think that blood came second nature to him. Rachel found out this wasn't true after Noah had come to her home one night and she had cut her finger while slicing tomatoes. Noah instantly began freaking out, and had almost dialed 911 before he looked at the bloody finger and stained towel before his eyes rolled back and he fainted right in Rachel's kitchen. Her Daddy had to pour water on the boy's head after he doctored Rachel's finger. (Noah would later claim that he was a _badass_ who thought blood was for _pussies_.)

**Noah ruined Rachel's first date with Jesse. **

The Friday after Rachel had met Jesse she had ended up out with him at the movies, and the last person she had wanted to see had shown up. Noah had spotted her and Jesse before she could duck out of the line of fire. "_Yo, Berry, mind if I join_?" He had proceeded to sit next to her with Jesse on her right. That night Jesse had taken her home and kissed her good night, and she had pulled out her phone. "_I know where you keep your Marijuana, I'm sure your mom would like to know also._" He had apologized the next day.

**Noah totally read Twilight, and he's definitely Team Jacob.**

When Rachel stumbled upon the four books in Noah's bedroom, she assumed that they were Sarah's. However, after further inquiry she realized that Sarah didn't even _like_ Twilight. Then she realized that his pages were book marked with a Team Jacob bookmark and she smirked. _"Dude, Berry, it's Sarah's-" "Noah, Sarah doesn't even like Twilight. Team Jacob, huh?" "He's just way more badass than Edward. Edward won't even sleep with Bella, and that's fucking stupid, she's a total babe under all that whining. And Jacob's a huge ass wolf." _Rachel eventually had to shut him up by kissing him fiercely and promising to take his secret to the grave.

**Noah can be caught singing *NSYNC when he thinks he's alone.**

The day Rachel walked in on Noah singing "Bye Bye Bye" she didn't really know what to do with herself. Half of her wanted to congratulate him on how well his voice was beginning to sound after only a few vocal lessons and the other half wanted to giggle to her hearts content. She made a compromise by giggling while she told a very irritated Noah Puckerman how good his voice sounded as *NSYNC played in the background.

**Noah's favorite musical is hands down The Lion King. He cries every time he sees it.**

Rachel assumes this is because Noah grew up without a father figure also, and therefore feels like he can related to Simba more than any other character he'd ever seen before. So far he'd taken Rachel to see it four times, and he cried much more than she ever did. When she asked why this was he shrugged and told her that it was because there were no boobs in this play unlike the play with the asshole pretty boy she was in love with. _"His name is Jonathan Groff, Noah, how many times-" "Shut up, Berry, you're making me feel like a vagina just talking about him_._"_

**Noah is actually very intelligent when it comes to algebra.**

She had discovered this by offering to tutor him only to have him tell her that he didn't need her help. She naturally, and understandably, thought that this was because he didn't want to seem to stupid or be so unbadass to ask for help. She forced him to open his books and saw that his homework was already completed and perfectly correct. She smiled at him as he told her that he just like algebra and he would burn every single musical poster she owned if she told anyone about it. She knew that this was not an empty threat.

**Noah dresses like a lumberjack most days.**

Honestly, people tell her that she dresses like a grandmother, and it's kind of weird how obsessed with this that Kurt seemed to be, but Noah is ten times worse. All he wears is flannel or plaid. Her clothes are much more expressive and expensive, however no one notices that. _"Babe, if it wasn't for those skirts, I might have never noticed your fine ass." _She had then proceeded to lecture him on vulgarity, but really she couldn't be more pleased.

**Finally, Noah Puckerman had fought for her all along.**

She had only begun to see this when he ruined her date with Jesse, but it continued from that. He had shown up the moment after Jesse had broken up with her to say that he didn't care why he was in her video, he knew what it was like to want a lot of ass. She had found that kind of charming, and though it had taken them a little while, he had finally told her he loved her crazy ass, and her heart was no longer her own.

And even though he wasn't actually that much of a badass, she still loved him.


End file.
